this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can't post anywhere else.

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Gated Community Cowboy - My Wife Left Me (Ford F250 Remix).mp3

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 91 points 2 days ago (1 children)

He actually thinks that quote makes him look like a badass lol

[–] invalidusernamelol@hexbear.net 86 points 2 days ago

"I'm afraid of Black people"

[–] fuckiforgotmypasswor@hexbear.net 48 points 2 days ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

its hard to explain to people that black people scare me more than trees

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I think everybody is more scared of any type of person than trees, what is a tree going to do to you? maybe you meant bears?

[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 16 points 1 day ago

doggirl-smart Errrm Aktchually, only an average of one or two people have a fatal bear mauling expirience per year, while on the other hand 100+ people are killed annually by trees.

Really, we should all be a bit more respectful to the power of the tree.

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[–] GeckoChamber@hexbear.net 69 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I bet he finds most things hard to explain

[–] Dr_Pepper@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago

Like object permanence

[–] webp@mander.xyz 47 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Because of social anxiety, right? ...right?

[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 52 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Rom@hexbear.net 38 points 2 days ago

Naive dingbats hahaha

[–] Coolkidbozzy@hexbear.net 57 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Being afraid in either scenario is silly lmao. In the wilderness, the apex predators don't want to harm you! Unless you live in polar/brown bear territory but that's not a problem in the US. You just gotta do your own thing. Living in irrational fear all the time is such a conservative mood

[–] Acute_Engles@hexbear.net 30 points 2 days ago (1 children)

There's a small population of grizzlies around these parts so the conventional wisdom is if it's a black bear you yell at it to fuck off but if it's brown you better hope it's not hungry

[–] 9to5@hexbear.net 24 points 2 days ago

Those glizzies dont stand a chance against me

[–] Ekranoplane@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Nah the actual wilderness will happily fuck you up. Don't fool around in the woods.

[–] Frivolous_Beatnik@hexbear.net 26 points 2 days ago

True to a degree - a lot of the "wilderness" outside the suburban blight is formerly cleared woodland where a ton of old-growth forests were destroyed and most potentially dangerous animals driven out. The most a lot of these chuds have to worry about is mosquitos and ticks.

You right though that if you're not prepared in real wilderness you can get lost, take a severe fall, starve, freeze, get heatstroke, get poisoned, bitten, contract disease, frighteningly easily. Be smart out there!

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[–] Lussy@hexbear.net 36 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Got a handgun and is scared to drive into a crowded area, yet I’m supposed to believe this man’s a hardass

What an incredible reality we live in

[–] D61@hexbear.net 48 points 2 days ago

I too am uncomfortable around cops.

[–] Jabril@hexbear.net 53 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Every person like him is really a scared little child

[–] Dr_Pepper@hexbear.net 28 points 2 days ago

Type of person who is afraid to eat vegetables.

[–] VapeNoir@hexbear.net 44 points 2 days ago

Oh its easy. You're a massive coward

[–] huf@hexbear.net 41 points 2 days ago
[–] Infamousblt@hexbear.net 28 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

As a city dweller I used to fight against this kind of propaganda, but as time went on I realized the only kinds of people I hate running into in my city are the kinds of people who are visiting my city. Not every visitor of course, but these kinds? I hate them. They suck. They ruin everything.

So now when someone asks me how scary it is to live in my Big Scary City I tell them about all the Big Scary Things I've seen and hope like hell it keeps them away.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 42 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Wearing my awkward chest holster to pipe smoking camp.

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 35 points 2 days ago (1 children)

This is what happens when the campy need to accessories conflicts with the innate fear of an American man being perceived as feminine. Instead of a useful sling bag, you get a useless/dangerous gun holster.

There is no more of a campy fashion obsessed person than someone pretending to be a cowboy. I work in the southwest in orthotics and prosthetics and have had full grown men have crying tantrums when I tell them that the brace I built to help them walk again won't work with cowboy boots. "Do you know how much these cost, they're hand stitched!" Is something Ive had screamed at me multiple times. My dude, you work for paycom. They would rather be physically impaired than than give up their suburban cowboy dress gimmick.

[–] MemesAreTheory@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago (6 children)

This is really, really funny, and I want to thank you for posting. I needed a laugh today.

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[–] Leon_Grotsky@hexbear.net 37 points 2 days ago (5 children)

Even better, I'm pretty sure that's a vape not a pipe

[–] ClathrateG@hexbear.net 28 points 2 days ago

Ceci n'est pas une pipe

[–] D61@hexbear.net 24 points 2 days ago

agony-deep Is nothing sacred!?!?

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[–] CocteauChameleons@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah the mean streets of Kansas City

[–] TheDeed@hexbear.net 31 points 2 days ago

Honestly it is kinda dangerous here, but mostly because people like this bozo have a gun

I doubt he is from here though. No one here dresses like this. Maybe the suburbs

[–] isame@hexbear.net 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

They recently made open carrying legal in my (US) state. My work takes me to grocery stores across a few different counties, of varying rurality. It makes me laugh out loud to see some chud at his neighborhood Publix after church on Sunday strapped with his cute little pistol and holster. Motherfucker you are surrounded by YOUR PEOPLE. What are you afraid of? Hm?

[–] TranscendentalEmpire@lemmy.today 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My state passed constitutional carry a couple years back, and to celebrate a ton of people were just taking their ar-15 everywhere they went. Me and the rest of the patrons at chain bbq restaurant got barrel swept multiple times by a chud who was carrying his AR across his chest with the sling around his neck, using it as an arm rest.

[–] blunder@hexbear.net 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I feel like self defense is justified when being barrel swept by a 5.56 rifle

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[–] isame@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago

It's probably me. Well, not me exactly. I'm a queer commie but I'm not brown so I pass okay.

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Fuck Cars. That's what this is about, right? anakin-padme-2

Driving in US cities is pretty terrible due to car-brained infra. But this dork doesn't comprehend any of that I'm sure.

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, I would bet that you're more likely to die in a car crash on the way to the city than you are from being in the city.

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[–] pierre_delecto@hexbear.net 19 points 2 days ago

As they say, all hat and no cowboy

[–] Crucible@hexbear.net 30 points 2 days ago

Same type of guy who would lose his shit during the 'women choose the bear' meme

[–] axont@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Terrible chest holster. Just get a normal set of shoulder holsters, christ. Also is that a 1911? Who tf carries a 1911 lmao

I mean it's a fucking cool gun and I love them but if it's your everyday to the point you have a chest rig for it I think you're just using the gun as a fashion accessory. And I'm not even against guns as fashion but at least have some taste

[–] Ram_The_Manparts@hexbear.net 23 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Yes it's a 1911, and I just noticed it's not even cocked. I'm sure his master-level operator skillz will somehow buy him time to rack the slide when he's jumped by 30-50 feral transgender communist Khamas/MS13 members though. No sweat.

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[–] Ishmael@hexbear.net 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What the hell kind of holster position is that? Seems like a good way to shoot yourself in the chin when you draw

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[–] ThermonuclearHoxha@hexbear.net 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Y'all, he's got a point — driving into a small town with this guy in it is much scarier than being alone in the wilderness.

Sent from my iPhone
Barbara Pitt
Southlake, Texas
[–] unmagical@lemmy.ml 23 points 2 days ago

And yet, plenty of people live and walk around the town completely unarmed.

Here I am again, a rural amerikkkan hexbear, making one comment in the morning defending my rural comrades, then another wondering why I even bother.

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